How Resentment is Slowly Killing You – 3 Realisations to Bring You to Gratitude

The Buddha once said: “Anger will never disappear unless thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind”.

That word cherished.

Do you feel that righteousness in your anger?

How about enjoying your dislike of other people?

I must bust myself if I want to grow, so I admit it, I can enjoy anger and hatred.

If someone differs from me politically I feel I MUST state my case and revel in the idea of ripping the other person’s argument to shreds.

I am not alone in this.

YouTube and the MSM are full of hammer-blow adjectives fetishizing the fantasy for you to be right and your opponents to be wrong.

Here are some video titles from a 2-second YouTube search:

As well as the belittling of the opponent (SJW, crazy, retarded, etc) there is a massive emphasis on destroying.

This is where the perverse fantasy lies.

  1. Realize You Need What You Oppose

No man can say he knows all there is to know.

And no argument is ever truly destroyed by the other.

All of life exists in duality:

  • Pain/Pleasure
  • Good/Evil
  • Darkness/Light
  • War/Peace

So, the reality is we need the antithesis of one thing to justify and give meaning to its opposite.

If things were not this way, everything would be relative and meaningless.

Ergo, the fantasy of completely destroying the counter-argument is the fantasy of one’s worldview taking over the truth itself.

It is the classic evil desire for personal dominion of the world.

Obviously, such a desire leads to the corruption of the truth, the very thing we are trying to possess in our arguing.

The reality is that no man can bear the burden of the truth because no man can know everything.

We only have abstract models of reality.

This is why Western philosophy is founded on the very notion of truth-seeking.

As Socrates said: “All I know is that I know nothing”.

From this standpoint, we downsize our ego and orient ourselves to the pursuit of what truth is, not what we order truth to be.

We can see then, that the obsession to be right is the ego’s obsession to dominate others and the truth.

This is the seedbed of resentment.

To live in a political world, one must see opposing points of view as justification for one’s own points of view, not as enemies of them.

Even more importantly, opposing points of view must be treated with divine reverence as they:

  • Can show you holes in your own belief system
  • Keep you from veering into ego-based intellectual narcissism
  • May even change your mind on some things
  • Keep you oriented to the discovery of truth
  1. Realize Your Opinions Don’t Define You or Your Value

Leading on from letting go of your desire to be right, we can take the next logical step: Understanding your opinions are not you.

It is so easy to fall into the trap of building a persona based on your opinions.

Such a framework acts to keep us from the chaos of accepting the greatest truth of all: That truth is too vast for us to grasp in its entirety.

Treating your opinions as your identity is a common way to defend yourself against existential crisis, yet the structure becomes a monster when it begins to define your very being.

This structure leads us into believing political and personal differences go as deep as our being itself.

Such a belief creates seemingly unfixable divisions between men, and in that fracture resentment for the opponent breeds drastically out of control.

Not only then does a person disagree with you now, they challenge the whole structure your being is based on.

Their existence is a direct threat to yours.

It is of paramount importance that you diverge from this path.

Our modern media and culture are driving us to become partisan morons saturated in our own mediatized echo chambers.

To break free from resentment is in the knowledge that humans are much more than their opinions.

As soon as you base your value on something beyond your opinions – which are essentially your model of perceived reality – you’re no longer victim to resentment because there is no way you can conflict yourself against the perceptions of others.

3: Realize the Real You

If you are not your opinions, what are you?

Don’t be afraid of this question, it is one philosophers have tangled with throughout the ages.

Yet only you can define who and what you really are.

We know we are not our body, as this is a constantly replenishing mechanism.

Our skin renews itself perennially, just as our old ideas die and new ones are born.

Somewhere beyond the physical and the abstract is where you must find your true energy.

When you connect with what Eckhart Tolle terms ‘The Silent Watcher’ then you are close.

The following reading can assist you on that journey:

  • Eckhart Tolle’s Vital Read for Men in Recovery
  • CS Lewis on How to Find Your Inner Heaven
  • How to Find Your Life’s Purpose: 5 Steps

Living Free of Resentment

By following the above outline, you can remove yourself from the pull of resentment.

Nothing destroys spiritual contentment like resentment which is increasingly becoming the basis of our political world.

One quick antidote to this is to write a gratitude list on a daily basis first thing in the morning.

Write ten things you are grateful to have, every day, for one month.

See what happens…

Read more: Man Psychology VS Boy Psychology – A Solution for Modern Men

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